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Diary of a Mad Black Londoner

7am alarm goes off!

It’s the 4th time I am hysterically screaming at my existence at this point.




7.00 rings with a louder reminder & title which says

“Fucking wake now”!

I am the only reason, I may be the only human being on the face of the earth who sets her alarm to go off 4 times. I am not quite sure that sentence made any sense but there you go!

I spend 5 mins trying to feel my legs on earth.

Up and I activate robot girl mode.

I grab my apple cider vinegar flavoured water.

Gulp one

Gulp two

Butter out of the fridge

Two slices in toaster

Boil two eggs


Set breakfast

Put the nespresso machine on

Spend the next ten years finding what to wear.

How have I become so disorganised in my adult life? I think to myself.

The weather says its 10 degrees now but will be 27 from noon.

Fuck British weather!

Perhaps a skirt and a camisole?

I go to the balcony to test the weather.

It’s a little nippy.

Take a coat and look stupid later in the day. Wear tights now and look ridiculous later on the tube, when every part of your body and other bodies are sweating in smelly unison on the central line at 98 degrees Fahrenheit. My expression of disgust says it all!