December 28, 2019

"There are those among us who are blessed with the power to save what is loved by another. But powerless to use this blessing for love themselves".

Alicia Keys

Try Sleeping With a Broken Heart, The Element Of Freedom, 2009

This song hits every part of my core.

From lost lovers, to broken hearts, family rejection, loss of friends, loss of grandparents, grieving loved ones gone too soon, euphoric recalls, blue animations, el...

August 11, 2019

A letter from my 8 year old self

Few months ago, I met Julia Cameron. She asked me to write a letter to myself from my 8 year old and my 80 year old.
I have never had to think of doing something so simple yet so incredibly hard in my life but I did both (on ink and paper) and I posted it in the mail to myself. The one that particularly made me cry and feel so many emotions was doing one from my 80 year old self.

It was a few...

March 16, 2019

I put my iPhone on airplane mode, alarm set for 6.15, computers out of sight, cup of camomile tea done, lights out. 

It was probably a hundred and fifty seconds later since my head finally took its lay to rest on what has become a mountain of pillows to help my sleep apnea, spooned by ‘nkem’, his hand strung across my torso holding tight as if he was scared of letting me go even in sleep. I smiled. It was endearing. I lift his...

December 30, 2018

In August 2017, the NHS commissioned myself and 2 other amazing humans I work with (through the national charity) to design and develop a model of care that is primarily focused on mentoring children and young people (C&YP) between the ages of 10-24 living with sickle cell. It was commissioned specifically in the boroughs of City of London and Hackney.

For someone who thrives on change, my life choices and goals have been pr...

December 2, 2018

I am shades of midnight, shards of the same galaxy collapsed and contrasted to tiny little balls that grow like eggs not subsumed by Mars quakes. I am faulty genes, x-rays, heart scans, and red cells insufficient. I am sexuality in a world yet to be explored by I and me. I am a jar of dry camomile leaves turning to shades of sunlight spreading over the river leaving spaces for evening lights. I am petals of the stars waned to...

August 27, 2018

‘Under the Tuscan Sun’ the movie.

The movie actually drew my attention to the concept of this story.

I love everything ‘arty’- from independent cinema, to arty films, to Woody Allen’s antics, paintings, artistic provocateurs, theatrics, jazz, neo-soul, stage and art creativity, foreign movies, travel, poetry, book culture, French vintage, shabby chic interior. The list could go on and on. Studying English Lit has naturally forme...

August 27, 2018

Saturday morning of 7th May 2016. I resumed horse riding at the Lea Valley horse riding centre in Leyton. I was anxious and didn’t know what to expect as the last time I rode a horse was when I was little.

Dad used to take us every weekend. So really, it felt anew. But I was excited and proud of myself for taking the leap to at least book the class and show up, seeing that the Gemini in me is quick to move on to the next exciti...

August 27, 2018

We walked through the corridor to his office. He had visited Bordeaux. I asked him how his holiday was and he told me other than the attack in Nice that week, he had a grand time. We all love France. But then  he said in a quick blurt, almost in a bid not let his memory forget this life changing event he was about to tell me. ‘June, something incredible happened’. 

Right, ok. What? 

Apparently, he was having lunch in a busy...

August 27, 2018

7am alarm goes off!

It’s the 4th time I am hysterically screaming at my existence at this point.




7.00 rings with a louder reminder & title which says

“Fucking wake now”! 

I am the only reason, I may be the only human being on the face of the earth who sets her alarm to go off 4 times. I am not quite sure that sentence made any sense but there you go!

I spend 5 mins trying to feel my legs on earth.

Up and I activate robot...

April 30, 2018

Do you recall that afternoon at the Fisherman’s Pub, when you said I was like a little beaming child when I eat seafood.

As if it wasn’t all we did most evenings, when we tucked into those Dalmatian dishes of sea food platters and Swiss chards.

The overload of the sea bream/ bass, fresh oysters, mussels, squids, lobsters, calamari and my favorite, octopus!

I often felt my ovaries contracting…

But of course, being the wine enthusia...

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